Uncertainty abound,
the world suddenly moves into stillness.
Moments rarely acknowledged —
A coffee on the deck,
The tenth white flower on the newly revived tree,
A less than two-minute garbage run,
And the way the spring breeze brushes my hair against my cheek
start feeling like moments of uncorrupted freedom.
I can’t decide whether I’ve become used to it —
Somedays, the sound of waking up to birds has me filled with unexplained gratitude
and other days, with frustration.
Sometimes, the rain looks so beautiful as it falls uninterrupted against the light of the moon instead of the headlights of cars,
and on other days, it just makes for a really dull day.
I guess I don’t have to decide, because it won’t last, or so they say.
The uncertainty is paralyzing,
Mostly because it isn’t abstract anymore —
I can hear it in the siren of the ambulance,
See it in the eyes of my friends,
Taste it with every half onion used to make my groceries last longer,
And touch, no I can’t touch it, that’s not allowed anymore.
For the world’s sake and my own, I hope this ends soon.
There are days I don’t believe in that at all, but today isn’t one of those days.
Today, I can confidently say that I believe the end will come,
And how did I reach that conclusion?
Well, maybe it was just me looking for a sign,
But while I sat outside on my deck,
With my hot coffee
And my gaze fixed to that tenth white flower,
I heard ambulances again
But, I also heard church bells.
The juxtaposition was comedic almost —
The sound of faith against the noise of death,
But, it produced the desired effect, it gave me hope —
Like a humorous dramatic monologue as an aside in a tragic play,
Kind of funny but also not,
It gives you space to breathe, to laugh in the face of tragedy and above all,
to believe that the adversity will end,
And for now, that hope is enough.
Life Unscripted 